Why, yes, I DO run across truly outre declarations while surfing the Net for things to do with writing and publishing.
As a matter of fact, I would be delighted to share!
Here you go, someone's endeavor to become a writer:
I quit my job to write a novel. If you agree to buy it, I'll find a publisher. If not, I have to sell my soul to an agency.
Okay, cookie--quitting your job to write a novel was your first mistake. Just about every successful writer I know has a day job to support their writing habit, myself included. Writers don't have health insurance, dental plans, or weekly checks to cover those pesky monthly expenses like groceries and bills. One hopes you have an understanding partner willing to support you while you write.
If you agree to buy it,
You want me to agree to buy something you've not written? Are you on drugs? What if you're a stinky writer? Pull the other one, I'm not having fun yet. On the other hand, it's not too likely you'll ever finish, much less sell a book, so sure, okay, why not?
I'll find a publisher.
Um, you do that whether or not anyone ever agrees to buy it.
Another newsflash--just because you have a book to sell, doesn't mean a publisher wants to buy it. I know your teachers might have given you extra credit in school, but the real world doesn't operate like that. Your words have to be worth money to someone before they invest in them.
If not, I have to sell my soul to an agency.