Random Cock-Eyed Optimist Encounter

Why, yes, I DO run across truly outre declarations while surfing the Net for things to do with writing and publishing.

As a matter of fact, I would be delighted to share!

Here you go, someone's endeavor to become a writer:

I quit my job to write a novel. If you agree to buy it, I'll find a publisher. If not, I have to sell my soul to an agency.

Okay, cookie--quitting your job to write a novel was your first mistake. Just about every successful writer I know has a day job to support their writing habit, myself included. Writers don't have health insurance, dental plans, or weekly checks to cover those pesky monthly expenses like groceries and bills. One hopes you have an understanding partner willing to support you while you write.

If you agree to buy it, 

You want me to agree to buy something you've not written?  Are you on drugs?  What if you're a stinky writer?  Pull the other one, I'm not having fun yet.  On the other hand, it's not too likely you'll ever finish, much less sell a book, so sure, okay, why not?

I'll find a publisher. 

Um, you do that whether or not anyone ever agrees to buy it.

Another newsflash--just because you have a book to sell, doesn't mean a publisher wants to buy it. I know your teachers might have given you extra credit in school, but the real world doesn't operate like that. Your words have to be worth money to someone before they invest in them.

If not, I have to sell my soul to an agency. 

And how is THAT a bad thing?  My agent has done wonderful, amazing things for my career, what with selling my books to half of Europe, landing one anthology deal after another, and now I have 3 steampunk novels to write in 2011. She translates complicated contracts into something I can understand, snags cool things like audio-book deals, and sometimes buys me lunch. Oh--checks. She sends me checks for REAL MONEY so I can continue doing something I love.

I'm not seeing a down side here.

On the other hand, if you don't put some time into learning your craft, write every day, and--oh--put some TIME into learning your CRAFT, it's not likely any agency will want your writing, never mind your soul.

How about this for 2011?  Start with keeping your day job.

1. Write a book.
2. Get it workshopped within an inch of its life and your ego's life.
3. Shop it to agents and publishers who sell/publish similar books you see in the stores.
4. While it makes the rounds, write another, even BETTER book.
5. Repeat steps 2-4 until you have a career.

That's what real writers DO, yanno--whether they sell the books or not.  You might give it a shot. Just a thought.


See you in 2011, gang.